23 August 2007

That's a Smart Turtle!

My parents gave me a Page-A-Day calendar for Christmas and I really enjoy it. It's the "365 Stupidest Things Ever Said" version. Would you like some jokes for your day? Read on...

"Is the south boundary of the north half of the southeast quarter of the northwest quarter the same line as the north boundary of the south half of the southeast quarter of the northwest quarter?"
(What? Could you rephrase the question, Alex?)

Signs on tables in a Chinese restaurant, New York City:
"WARNING: Tips for waitress not privilege off customer, and not optional to do! Is custimarry and IS THE LAW for leave tips, otherwise is possibul to face prostection by law! Please be responsivele, leave tip and no go jail! Have a nice day!"

Recorded on a hospital medical chart, as reported in Nursing magazine:
"The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three days a week."
(That's a misplaced modifier, doctor. Shall we operate?)


The Mama of the House said...

I didn't know you had a blog! CJ never told me. Well, now I know and I'll be keeping tabs on you all. I'm thrilled you're back in school eventhough that just means lots of reading and homework.

I love misplaced modifiers. They make for the best reading!

The Mama of the House said...

One more thing...do you know the author of Belly Dancer's Nightcap? She's a dear friend of mine and used to live here in the downtown area. We met because her hubby attended Springs Reformed. I'm really hoping they'll be stationed here, again, but she really wants to get back to Chattanooga.

That's all!

cj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cj said...

Funny! When we visited Thailand, we went to a place that was renovating. It had a sign posted in Thai with the English version listed below. The English read, "Please excuse the uncomfortable."

livinginparadise said...

Hey Krista,

Glad you stopped by my blog. It will be fun to keep up with each other via blogs.


Krista said...

I don't know Belly Dancer's Nightcap, but I read her blog all the time because it's such an interesting story.