That's a Smart Turtle!

My parents gave me a Page-A-Day calendar for Christmas and I really enjoy it. It's the "365 Stupidest Things Ever Said" version. Would you like some jokes for your day? Read on...

"Is the south boundary of the north half of the southeast quarter of the northwest quarter the same line as the north boundary of the south half of the southeast quarter of the northwest quarter?"
(What? Could you rephrase the question, Alex?)

Signs on tables in a Chinese restaurant, New York City:
"WARNING: Tips for waitress not privilege off customer, and not optional to do! Is custimarry and IS THE LAW for leave tips, otherwise is possibul to face prostection by law! Please be responsivele, leave tip and no go jail! Have a nice day!"

Recorded on a hospital medical chart, as reported in Nursing magazine:
"The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three days a week."
(That's a misplaced modifier, doctor. Shall we operate?)

Registering

Registered my car for on-campus parking.

Went to the Tuck Shoppe, bought my book, and started driving down the mountain.

Saw Dr. H on her walk, so I looped around and chatted with her.

Found that the Class was not being offered through Covenant, so Dr. H called the Office of Records and had a registrar put me in Developmental Psychology. Then she called the Tuck Shoppe and asked about exchanging my textbook for the DevPsych text. It would be another $30.

I did not have another $30. So Dr. H loaned me cash so I could drive back to Covenant, return Textbook A, and buy Textbook B.

So there you go. MWF 7:45-8:50 Dr. R.

Sales Effort

We are really overwhelmed, here in America, by the drive to buy, obtain, and shop. Don't we realize we have enough stuff? Why do we collect things like squirrels storing seeds and nuts, frantically waiting for the first blast of winter?

Maybe we who are redeemed have forgotten that the Lord provides for all our needs. We don't need to squirrel stuff away, because though hard times may (and certainly do) come, we need not fear.

It may be that my retail job hypersensitizes me to our crass greed and covetousness. There's a girl I know who gets migraines from bright fluorescent lights. Where she was miserable, her office-mates wondered if she was a little kooky. Maybe it's like that with me. I'm getting a migraine from all the effort being put into chloroforming my common sense and making me feel like I need another house plant or a new color lipstick or a prettier sofa or a more expensive conditioner, where other people just look at me and go "Humph" to themselves when I leave the room.

Object Lessons

I often think about how creation teaches us about the Creator. The Westminster Confession says,

Although the light of nature, and the works of creation and providence do so far manifest the goodness, wisdom, and power of God, as to leave men unexcusable; yet are they not sufficient to give that knowledge of God, and of his will, which is necessary unto salvation. --WCF I.1.

It's true, of course. But for those of us who know Jesus, who know the secrets of the parables in Scripture* and the meaning of all the object lessons he put into creation, the truths of the natural world illuminate in deeper clarity the truths taught in Scripture.

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*I allude here to Luke 8:10, "To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of God, but for others they are in parables, so that 'seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand.' "