The Last 7 Days

Any of you who know me in real life will know that I'm not exactly excited to turn 30. I'm turning 30 in just 7 days.

All my previous birthdays have been exciting and kind of...glowy...in the same way the Christmas Season glows. "May all your days be merry and bright." But this year I'm fighting reality. I don't want to go over this hill. Yes, many have told me their thirties were better than their twenties. Yes, I know people who are well past thirty snicker at me for resisting this birthday. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to turn thirty.

Why? I know why. But I don't want to publish them so all the internets everywhere can read them. (And all the over-30 internets can snicker at me.) I just want to relate them to myself. You know what else? I know why I resist this birthday, but I also don't know why. I do and I don't.

Sheesh. Well, the closer I get the less it seems to loom. Maybe at that exact tick when I change from being 29 to being 30, I won't feel any different. Do people change from one second to another? (Yes. They do. But this won't be a tragedy that changes my life...it'll just be time marching on.)

I've been documenting a lot of personal, internal changes that have snuck up on me in the last 18 months or so. I have changed in the last couple years. I foresee those changes shaping my life more in this next decade than just the ticking of a clock.