Losing Everything

Talk of the Nation has guests that were talking about losing everything. Now, I've never been in a situation where I've lost all my worldly possessions (like so many of the Katrina victims)...or all my health (to some disease or accident)...or all my loved ones (to some sort of terrible tragedy)...or all my money (like those Bernie Madaff victims)...or my way of life (again, like so many of the Katrina victims)...or my homeland (like my own grandparents, who became refugees and immigrants after World War II)...or all of the above (like Job). But, being someone who lives in a sinful world, I have been the victim of loss.

How does one deal with loss? How do I deal with loss? I have a situation in particular that keeps cropping up...every time I think I've figured out how to deal with this, it comes back. Every time I think I've forgiven the people involved, the hurt and anger comes back. It's a sense of vulnerability, of hurt, of shame, of anger, of rage and revenge.

Here's one thing I do know: the solution is not to 'check out.' Whether to lose myself in my work, in my family, in my sense of loss and hurt; or to tell myself that pain is an illusion; or to convince myself that the source of pain is an illusion...none of these is a good solution.

And here's another thing I know, and that I'm learning more and more in my day-to-day life: there is healing and safety in the true Word of the Lord. "Solution" means "it's ok, it's all gone, it's all over, forget it," and wounds like this cannot be "ok'd" away. What I want (and what I need) is healing--to acknowledge that damage has been done and that the hurt can be, in fact, healed.

• Nehemiah, in the midst of his labor for the City of Jerusalem, prayed to the Lord and asked him to remember his persecutors.
• Paul, in the midst of his lesson about how creation groans for the sons of God to be revealed, reminded us Christians that all things do (actually do!) work together for our good, if we belong to the Lord Jesus.
• Hagar, the slave of Sarah who was used for her master's and mistress's gain, and who was rejected along with her son--God came to her and reminded her that He is The God Who Sees.
• And the Psalmist, though his life so often sucked, praised the Lord that all the hairs on his head were counted. All the hairs on my head are counted, too. The Lord knows mundane details like that--how much more he knows this situation, too!

Perks of Working at a Children's Museum

Today I was filling out some interdepartmental forms, and I couldn't find a pen in my pockets. All I had with me were crayon stumps.

So I filled out the forms (they are just casual documents, not real forms!) in crayon.

AND I will be taken seriously.

Merry Christmas (Christmas Travels, Part 2)

So, we woke on Christmas morning and unloaded out stockings. Each stocking has the traditional orange, in-shell peanuts, and candy, as well as something special for each person.

We had breakfast together...traditional scrambled eggs, bacon, monkey bread, and whatnot...then did dishes and THEN began the gift opening.

They were opened one at a time (none of this crazy all-at-once orgy of greed self-absorbed self-centeredness!), and each one was exclaimed over and appreciated.

(Wow, writing about this is really boring. Believe me, it was a nice day, not boring at all.)

Our niece, who is 16 months old, was very cute in the midst of all this. She understood the concept of tearing paper off, but may not have understood that the paper was the prelude, not the game itself. Her Favorite Uncle (my youngest brother-in-law) spent lots of time with her helping her unwrap and enjoy gifts! He is so kind and gentle with her, it's no wonder he's Her Favorite Uncle.

We had Christmas Dinner (Ham and stuff) later that evening...about 8pm...and inbetween gift-opening and dinner several things happened: Niece had her nap, movies were watched, books were perused, phone calls were made (just two...the daughters-in-law to each respective set of parents).

All in all, a nice, relaxing, family-focused, traditional and new-tradition-building day. I loved it.

Westward Ho! (Christmas Travels, Part 1)

First in this series of posts about our Christmas 2008, the trip itself.


View Larger Map

Here's our westward route. Due to the weather in Mt. Vernon, IL and thereabouts (70% chance of evening wintry mix on the 23rd! yikes), we opted for the southern route. It took us about 5.5 hours on the first evening to drive across one state. Yes, Memphis is very far away.

The second day, as we set out across Arkansas, we ran into some rain. It was very rainy, and windy. In fact, as we crossed the Mississippi River, I wan't able to enjoy it because (1) it was so rainy you couldn't even see the water as you crossed it which was just creepy enough to be unsettling and (2) it was so windy I had this terrible surreal fear of being blown off the bridge and into the cold, churning Mississippi below.

So that was our welcome to Arkansas. Thankfully, the rain cleared out in about 30 minutes. Crossing the rest of Arkansas was...long. 5 hours! I drove across most of Arkansas, through all of Oklahoma, and into southern Kansas to Wichita, while Ian read to me or slept.

We got gas in Wichita, and were going to get some fast food, but we forgot that it was Christmas Eve and all the restaurants closed early, so we ate gas station food.* This time, our On the Road Christmas Eve Dinner was fresh, plump, tasty hot dogs (Husband had corn dogs...I held the tray of ketchup for him so he could hold the corn dog, dip it in ketchup, and drive all at the same time), chips, and cokes.

The rest of the trip was uneventful (thankfully so!) till we arrived in Quinter at about 10 pm. Our homecoming was picturesque: the rest of the family had gathered in the living room and were singing Christmas carols while my father-in-law was accompanying with guitar. What a delightful memory!

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*Two years ago on Christmas Eve, we were driving from Colorado to Western Kansas and ate gas station food at 10pm in a tiny town on I-70 in Eastern Colorado. (If you've never driven I-70 in Eastern Colorado, let me tell you: it's barren.) We had the last two glumly revolving hot dogs in the gas station and were grateful! We were hungry, and they were food.

Return to Tennessee

Well, I've worked my first day back at work and attended church our first Sunday back. We are decompressing and re-acclimating today.

Tomorrow is Husband's first day of the new semester and my day to return, exchange, and buy stuff with gift cards.

And to begin a crochet project (for Rosebud, cj's daughter). And to start thinking about more sewing projects (also for cj and her family).

I have memories to recall and relationships to ponder...and I'll be working on that here, on the ol' blog.

It just occurred to me...

...that Christmas is in four days.
...that we are leaving day after tomorrow (technically, tomorrow, since I am writing this on Monday, even though it feels like Sunday cause I haven't gone to bed yet).
...that I'm starting to feel better.

...that the shepherds weren't the first to find out about the Saviour, Immanuel. Mary was, when the angel told her.

A List of Short Posts all Rolled Into One Post

For my birthday, I received a Lodge Reversible Grill/Griddle. Last night, I made pancakes on it. Love it. It cooks so well!!

I want these biscuits. Right NOW.

The last few days around my house have been like a sewing sweatshop. I'm sewing, sewing, sewing! BUT last night I sewed fleece for the first time, and sewed a zipper for the first time...I sewed a zipper onto fleece. Something cozy is on it's way!

I recently got a promotion at work. Now I teach art lessons, science demos, and story time. It's been good so far.

Road Trips

Here is a map of all the states I've visited. I've also visited Hawaii, even though it's not shown on this map.

I like road trips. I might have to plan one to fill in those sad, white states that need to be colored in. (There are so few of them. A couple summer trips would fill this map right up!)

Elemental Sacraments

God used such mundane, everyday things to be the elements of our sacraments.

Bread. Wine. Water.

Did he invent water for baptism and then let us use it for washing and drinking and for 96% of our body's blood volume and other vital things? Or did he use something that was already mundane and sanctify it so that it would become special?

By the same token, did he make bread and wine staples of so many meals for so many people, and then elevate them by making them part of Communion, or did he make them with Communion in mind, then let us use them in all sorts sorts of workaday ways?

LInkage: 7 December

I want to listen to all the accents! I love accents!

This is awesome. But the book is much, much better. (Much. I might also say, real life is much, much better than the FB.)

You can be assured I'll be checking this for a good forecast just as soon as I can! (10 days before Christmas, it says! 10 Days Before is coming right up!)

The school principal from my junior-high days (who also, ironically, turned out to be my husband's first boss...in a totally different region of the country) used to talk about the pitfalls of an instant culture. That was almost 20 years ago. It's still true now, and Intellectuelle has posted an excellent essay on that very same subject.

I like to read 6YearMed. She recently posted about the discomfort of not quite 'fitting in' in your town. Not that my town is snooty (hah! far from it), but every now and then the 'Southern gentility' fits just a teensy bit too tightly on this Coloradan.

Christmas Gifts

Steph, your gift is coming together! I'm excited to see it coming together. I hope you will like it.

Ian, your gift is wending its way here. I can't wait to see you open it. I hope you will like it, too!

Double Digits Tomorrow?

This month is flying by. Whenever the month's date becomes a double digit number, I'm always surprised, because time is flying by.

October always surprises me, too, because that's when the month's number becomes double-digits. Here we are in the last single-digit date of this year. (I was going to write "of 2008," but that's too rhyme-y and syllabic.)

Seriously, where is the time going??

Just wait till this time next year, when we'll be in the countdown to the last single-digit YEAR. Yikes, and double yikes.

Two funnies...

Some of you may know that my husband and some of his siblings say "Oh, gravy!" to express frustration instead of other phrases that may or may not include God's name.

Well, last Thursday, I was looking at my list of things to do before 2pm, and I had forgotten one thing. "Oh, gravy!" I said. I meant it literally.

It was pretty funny!

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I got on the elevator with a colleague yesterday. (Let's call her...Bianca.) The thing about working at a children's museum is...sometimes educators let the immaturity out and just have a good time.

This is what Bianca and I do. Do you know what we do when we're on the elevator together? We (this is embarrassing)...we make loud, obnoxious...we make fart sounds...and laugh ourselves silly.

Yesterday, I was on my cell phone, and Bianca stepped on the elevator. She got a gleam in her eye, and made the loudest fart sound ever.

You know who was on the phone? My mother-in-law. I heard her pause in what she was telling me, and hesitantly go forward with her talking. I know she heard. I was in the elevator. And Bianca ripped a loud one!

Then, I got the giggles. I had to explain, but how do you explain that it was a fake fart sound? That sounds like blaming, like I didn't want her to know that I passed a good, loud bit of gas. But I didn't! I mean, I didn't fart! I only happened to be in the elevator when Bianca faked a superloud fart!

Well, MIL giggled when I told her, paused again, and went on with her story. (What else do you do in a situation like that! There's no section of etiquette training that says 'Here's what you do when your daughter-in-law gets in a situation that involves fart sounds.')

I'm sure it'll never be mentioned again.

It was pretty funny.

I Wish I Had a Scanner

So, our little local library has a box with free magazines that you can take. Anytime. Usually it has lame-o magazines like Sailing and Boating Quarterly, but sometimes you hit the jackpot.

Last night, I hit the jackpot. I found a Highlights for Children magazine. (I read a lot of them in the doctor's office when I was little. I was at the doctor's a lot. Between all my colds, my strep throat scares, and three-times-a-week visits to the allergist for two years...yes, I was there.)

But I digress. I found a Highlights for Children magazine from 1969.

I'll find a scanner and post some nuggets. There's a "New Technology" section that's a delight to read ... a "What We Hope to Find on the Moon" because this particular issue is from before the moon landing (that's actually hard to imagine for such a young'un as I) ... and a profile of "Our New President, Richard Milhous Nixon."

!

Shame on Us

This Black Friday death is tragic. Why should someone die for our culture's desire to consume more and more and more.

It's all the more tragic because the article (and, apparently, the local authorities) blame the store for inaproppriate security measures. Perhaps the problem goes deeper...maybe we shouldn't have a shopping day that is so intense that we need security fences and stuff like that? Maybe enough is enough, and more stuff is not the solution.